black out

I start and stop writing these things again and again. It does seem to be a cycle. It used to happen with journals I would scribble down in spiral notebooks as well. There would be huge gaps of time uncharted and often forgotten without the proof. I don't think it's a lack of ability to sustain, but it wouldn't surprise me if that were the case.

I have found myself doing the same thing with the on-line movie reviews that I write for IMDb. Sometimes I will go for maybe nine months straight writing about every film I have seen during that time. Once I skip one, though, I tend to stop.

I have lots and lots of scripts, sketches, shorts, and books in various stages of development collecting dust on my thumb drive. A couple months ago I found myself working on a stage adaptation for one of my favorite films. I am hoping to produce it in the near future. The prospect of a production at the other end made the process that much easier. Granted it was mostly a formatting and editing gig, but the quick start to finish was the inspiration I had been seeking to help get me energized again.

I have worked on and finished innumerable writings over the years. Without the glimmer of a production on the horizon, though, I start to lose sight of why I bother. Additionally, most of the productions I have worked on never carried with it a wrap party, a completed product, or any semblance of closure besides less contact with those involved.

I'm a very focused person, but often times I'm very focused on what's next, what's new, what's fresh. After awhile most things in your life become the all too familiar peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I get bored easily, especially when life starts to feel like act three of a movie where everything goes back to the mundane once that act two excitement has left town.

I wonder how long that will be for this page.

Again.