(109)
23 February 2012
21 February 2012
system failure
When the power goes out, the world comes to a standstill. People become powerless. So much of our existence is contingent upon the grid. Show me a stoplight outage and I'll show you awkward, infantile hesitance and unnecessary fender bending. Our attachment to our technological imperatives can be downright startling.
Work ceases when the system crashes. Cut off that worldwide feeding tube and those daily conveniences and our knowledge dwindles at unbelievable rates. Much like our food left in stasis in our silenced Frigidaire, we quickly melt down, becoming useless, lifeless fudge pop sludge. We are limp without a back up. We have raised a culture of electronic co-dependents.
That much I wrote while watching the public scurry around logic when key aspects of the network crashed at the DMV a couple weeks back. They were promptly turned into big babies, gripping for that teet that suited them alone. It was fascinating to watch the interplay between the desk jockeys and the urgent masses.
But then before I knew it, I found myself with a home computer on an out of control booting up loop. I wasn't particularly surprised, given its relative old age by technology's standards. It slowly purred itself to sleep, puttering out after a long journey through energetically rough terrain. It has served it's purpose for a fair stretch, but it's time had simply come.
It wasn't done yet, however. After a couple days of disconnect I resuscitated the beast back to its newborn glory. As it opened its eyes upon the room, restored and recovered, physically present but mentally stuck essentially back in 2006. Suddenly the six years since were suddenly evaporated, and bridged . . .
(103)
13 February 2012
empty orchestra.
As of today the world's population is estimated to be 6.994 billion. With those sort of numbers who is all that surprised when God doesn't answer their prayers? Isn't it any wonder our call really isn't all that important to them? Most of us really just blend into the background, without an exposé or reality show or even fifteen minutes of anything particular to our fame.
I posit that we all want to have our imprint on something. We all want some variation on our moment, something beyond that impersonal shout-out during some equivalent to that namedrop graduation ceremony or something beyond that mass mailer who happens to know us by our first name. For me, one thing that definitely fuels my fire is karaoke, that much maligned and often misunderstood Japanese art form.
Whether due to an economic downturn or simply an upsurge of involvement by me and my scattershot friend base during the past several years, karaoke has become a bit of an event here in town. For something that was once squeezed to the back corner of a local bowling alley now can be committed every single night of the week, at venues varying in degrees of dive factor. It's not everyone's pint of beer, and certainly some prefer to watch than to participate, but regardless it's a thoroughly interactive event. One of the reasons I love it so much is that it puts the focus for a block of time on music, for lack of a keener phrase.
I'd suggest that I'm a bit hardcore about it. I can't even remember the last time I had nerves about stepping up to the mike, which is consistently the reason some hold themselves back from it. That, and audience response. I've had my fair share of ho-hum performances, but it's the doing it that matters more than anything else. As of the four new tracks I added to my repertoire this past Saturday night, I have concluded that I have gotten behind the mic 339 times, doing the likes of 267 different songs.
So, without further ado and for the insanely curious, these are the songs I have done:
Dancing Queen by ABBA
No Excuses by Alice in Chains
Sister Golden Hair by America
House of the Rising Sun by The Animals
Obsession by Animotion
Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley
Rock Lobster by The B-52s
Ready for Love by Bad Company
The Weight by The Band
Alcohol, Brian Wilson, & What a Good Boy by Barenaked Ladies
Paul Revere by Beastie Boys
Hard to Handle by The Black Crowes
Adam's Song by Blink-182
You've Made Me So Very Happy by Blood, Sweat & Tears
Song 2 by Blur
Changes, Let's Dance, Space Oddity, & Under Pressure by David Bowie
The Letter by The Box Tops
For What it's Worth by Buffalo Springfield
Spill the Wine by Eric Burdon & War
Chemicals Between Us & Everything Zen by Bush
Pepper by Butthole Surfers
Never There & Short Skirt/Long Jacket by Cake
Dangerous Type, Moving in Stereo, Tonight She Comes, & You Might Think by The Cars
Bad Moon Rising & Have You Ever Seen the Rain? by Creedence Clearwater Revival
Under the Milky Way by The Church
London Calling & Train in Vain by The Clash
I Can See Clearly Now by Jimmy Cliff (and Johnny Nash)
Everybody Knows by Leonard Cohen
A Girl Like You by Edwyn Collins
Brick House by The Commodores
Round Here by Counting Crows
Low by Cracker
If It Makes You Happy by Sheryl Crow
Don't Dream it's Over by Crowded House
Friday, I'm in Love & Lovesong by The Cure
Mother by Danzig
Punk Rock Girl by Dead Milkmen
New Age Girl by Deadeye Dick
Roll to Me by Del Amitri
Enjoy the Silence, People are People, Personal Jesus, Policy of Truth, & Somebody by Depeche Mode
Whip it by Devo
Come on Eileen by Dexy's Midnight Runner
Sultans of Swing by Dire Straits
She Blinded Me with Science by Thomas Dolby
Sunshine Superman by Donovan
Black Water by The Doobie Brothers
Alabama Song, Five to One, Love Her Madly, Love Me Two Times, People are Strange, & Roadhouse Blues by The Doors
Subterranean Homesick Blues by Bob Dylan
Save Tonight by Eagle Eye Cherry
Heartache Tonight, Lyin' Eyes, Take it Easy, Take it to the Limit, & Witchy Woman by The Eagles
Novocaine for the Soul by the eels
Missionary Man by the Eurythmics
What It's Like by Everlast
The Way by Fastball
Signs by Five Man Electrical Band
One Thing Leads to Another by The Fixx
The Chain by Fleetwood Mac
Dirty White Boy by Foreigner
Do You Want to?, Take Me Out, & This Fire by Franz Ferdinand
You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch
Sledgehammer by Peter Gabriel
You Dropped the Bomb on Me by The Gap Band
Thunder Rolls & Two of a Kind, Working on a Full House by Garth Brooks
That's All by Genesis
Crazy by Gnarls Barkley
Voodoo by Godsmack
Twilight Zone by Golden Earring
Basketcase by Green Day
No Sugar Tonight/New Mother Nature by The Guess Who
Maneater & You Make My Dreams by Hall and Oates
Sunglasses at Night by Corey Hart
Flagpole Sitta by Harvey Danger
Hey Joe by Jimi Hendrix
Long Cool Woman in a Black Dress by The Hollies
Don't You Want Me by Human League
Vehicle by Ides of March
Dancing with Myself, Eyes without a Face, & White Wedding by Billy Idol
Torn by Natalie Imbrugula
Drive by Incubus
Devil Inside, Don't Change, & Never Tear Us Apart by INXS
Laid by James
Walk Away by The James Gang
Superfreak by Rick James
Draggin' the Line by Tommy James
Aqualung by Jethro Tull
Big Shot, Don't Ask Me Why, It's Still Rock and Roll to Me, Only the Good Die Young, &She's Always a Woman by Billy Joel
Don't go Breaking My Heart by Elton John & Kiki Dee
No One Ever is to Blame by Howard Jones
Me and Bobby McGee by Janis Joplin
You've Got Another Thing Comin' by Judas Priest
I Predict a Riot by Kaiser Chiefs
Somebody Told Me by The Killers
Detachable Penis by King Missile
Lola by The Kinks
Going to California by Led Zeppelin
Nobody Told Me & Working Class Hero by John Lennon
Brandy (You're a Fine Girl) by Looking Glass
So Alive by Love & Rockets
Sex & Candy by Marcy Playground
Paradise by the Dashboard Light by Meatloaf
Who Can it Be Now? by Men at Work
The Safety Dance by Men without Hats
Fade to Black & Stone Cold Crazy by Metallica
Beds are Burning by Midnight Oil
Abracadabra by Steve Miller
I Melt with You by Modern English
Moondance by Van Morrison
88 Lines About 44 Women by The Nails
Always on My Mind by Willie Nelson
Bizarre Love Triangle & Blue Monday by New Order
Leather & Lace by Stevie Nicks & Don Henley
Coconut by Harry Nilsson
Closer by Nine Inch Nails
Cat Scratch Fever by Ted Nugent
Dead Man's Party & Weird Science by Oingo Boingo
If You Leave by OMD
Blue Monday by Orgy
Somewhere Out There by Our Lady Peace
I Didn't Mean to Turn You On by Robert Palmer
Jolene by Dolly Parton
Better Man, Black, & Elderly Woman… by Pearl Jam
Judith by A Perfect Circle
West End Girls by Pet Shop Boys
American Girl, Breakdown, Don't Do Me Like that, Mary Jane's Last Dance, Stop Draggin' My Heart Around, & You Don't Know How it Feels by Tom Petty
Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd
Nothin' but a Good Time by Poison
Don't Stand So Close to Me & King of Pain by The Police
Suspicious Minds & You're the Boss by Elvis Presley
Standing Outside a Broken Phone Booth… by Primitive Radio Gods
Little Red Corvette & Raspberry Beret by Prince
I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles) by The Proclaimers
Silent Lucidity by Queensryche
I Love a Rainy Night by Eddie Rabbitt
Right Down the Line by Gerry Rafferty
Black Betty by Ram Jam
By the Way, Californication, Can't Stop, Give it Away, Otherside, soul to Squeeze by Red Hot Chili Peppers
Walk on the Wild Side by Lou Reed
Banditos by The Refreshments
Drive by R.E.M.
I'm too Sexy by Right Said Fred
Somebody's Watching Me by Rockwell & Michael Jackson
Islands in the Stream by Kenny Rogers & Dolly Parton
Beast of Burden, Bitch, Honky Tonk Woman, Jumpin' Jack Flash, Love is Strong, & Paint it Black by The Rolling Stones
Major Tom by Peter Schilling
Broken by Seether featuring Ami Lee of Evanescence
Turn the Page by Bob Seger & the Silver Bullet Band
It Wasn't Me by Shaggy
Cecilia by Simon & Garfunkel
Still Crazy After all These Years by Paul Simon
Don't You (Forget About Me) by Simple Minds
All for You by Sister Hazel
Walkin' on the Sun by Smash Mouth
A Girl Like You by The Smithereens
How Soon is Now? by The Smiths
Tainted Love by Soft Cell
Man of Constant Sorrow by The Soggy Bottom Boys
Runaway Train by Soul Asylum
I'm on Fire & Secret Garden by Bruce Springsteen
Flowers on the Wall by The Statler Brothers
Stuck in the Middle with You by Stealers Wheel
Wild World by Cat Stevens
Bother by Stone Sour
Interstate Love Song by Stone Temple Pilots
Stray Cat Strut by The Stray Cats
Rapper's Delight by Sugarhill Gang
Green-Eyed Lady by Sugarloaf
Ballroom Blitz by Sweet
Aerials, Innversion, & Toxicity by System of a Down
Bang a Gong (Get it On) by T. Rex
And She Was, Burning Down the House, Life During Wartime, Once in a Lifetime, & Wild, Wild Life by Talking Heads
Everybody Wants to Rule the World & Head Over Heels by Tears for Fears
Birdhouse in Your Soul & Instanbul (Not Constantinople) by They Might Be Giants
Move it on Over by George Thorogood
Mama Told Me Not to Come by Three Dog Night
Kryptonite by 3 Doors Down
Future's So Bright I Gotta Wear Shades by Timbuk 3
Possum Kingdom by The Toadies
Greased Lightning by John Travolta
Slow Hand by Conway Twitty
Girl, You'll Be a Woman Soon by Urge Overkill
The Freshman by Verve Pipe
Add it Up, Blister in the Sun, & Kiss Off by Violent Femmes
Mexican Radio by Wall of Voodoo
Low Rider by War
Wake Me Up Before You Go Go by Wham!
The Promise by When in Rome
White and Nerdy by Weird al Yankovic
Love is in the Air by John Paul Young
Werewolves of London by Warren Zevon
I'm Bad, I'm Nationwide & Tush by ZZtop
(100)
re: born
Today I turn thirty-five.
I have never been older.
The way it's told, the night I was born 2001: A Space Odyssey, the operatic trippy science fiction flick by the incomparable Stanley Kubrick was broadcast on TV. Fault it however you will in spite of its tempered pacing and ennui inducing overture, but little can conflict with the edict that it stands as an influential classic. I've always supposed there must have been something in the water that night, since the drooling babe born in that Jersey hospital with my likeness would be drawn to film, music, and science fiction as well as dream of becoming a renegade filmmaker who dissects the eternal struggles of the human psyche. It never surprised me that I finished writing my first feature length screenplay in the year 2001.
We all come from somewhere.
And I don't mean the seemingly unsexy by-product of the end credit scroll of some roll in the hay. I simply mean that our physiological oak tree was once but an acorn. The ways and means the evolution comes about fascinates me. I think of the television series LOST, which my fiancée and I recently re-watched in its entirety, upon receiving it as a Christmas gift. Without the distraction of poor choice of company and interfering personal dramas that belied our respective first time viewings, so much more surfaced within this multi-textured program.
With much of the plot line being shrouded in mystery for many of the early seasons, there is a satisfying turn when some of the gnawing questions begin to find answers. I think life is like this. I think about turning thirty-five. There is far more power in that than there was at thirty or twenty-five or twenty-one or eighteen or any of the other key ages of yore. There's something truly exhilarating about seeing behind the curtain for longer stretches at a time, to catch a glimpse of how things work and what makes life worth living.
Deeper meaning rears its mischievous head right on schedule, every time. You just have to guide your vision a tad closer to see it. Show me a series of broken dishes, and I'll show you the excavation of the dashed dreams and cold conversation nibbled on at their side.
(99)
11 February 2012
i exist
I am fast approaching my thirty-fifth birthday.
The Friday morning preceding seemed like an apropos time to sit, waiting in the DMV for license renewal with a huge stack of seeming proof of my identity and whereabouts. It's intriguing to me that an expired identification card could call into question the aforementioned identity.
Does identity really have a shelf life? Does it truly require outside validation to prove who any of us really are?
Much of life extends from the challenge well-known by a fourth grader whose arm is stretched high toward oblivion, hand waving about, with answer fully pressed on tongue, but with acknowledgement consistently overlooked. We'd all like to be seen for who we are, what we know, where our capabilities and talents lie, but more often than not we instead become merely the projection of others - others' wants and others' insecurities packaged into full time underestimation of us.
Some might even work equivalently to how they're paid, giving even themselves the impression that all they're worth is the circumference of that leather bound ass print. Some people really do nurture this believe in themselves. They create walls of self-doubt and loathing around themselves like a Freudian twist on the Cask of the Amontillado. Some people waste away in the status quo.
I say thankless routine builds long term regret. So frequently we pop a squat on what could be by fearing what might be. One thing we all forget is how much of our existence transpires in our head. We dream big, we dream wild and we contemplate so much, disappointed when John Quiñones rounds the corner wondering why we hesitated to act or to do more than simply feel. So often our true actions disagree with our true potential. It's been noted that some prefer failure, because success would be too much work.
Birth we can certify and be assured about. It's living that comes under question.
What are the parameters of living to the hilt? I spent the best part of five hours, sitting in the DMV lobby watching people work, seeing others interact, grow weary, cranky and overheard one man talking about having to register himself as a career criminal. Judgment aside, how's that for taking life by the balls? Everyone's life is a topographical map. For some it's laid out full of flat lands and arid deserts, whereas others are lush and full of stories that inspire envy.
What would yours look like?
(98)
03 February 2012
satisfaction: suggested
An actor friend of mine recently caught the photography bug. I've known him for nearly seven years, and we've worked on innumerable projects together, so I realize his sense of craft and dedication. It is just that high expectation work ethic that we both share that explains why we continue to work on productions together. I can assure you many others simply couldn't keep up.
Sometimes I think people initially take up their interests due to boredom whether we're talking about interacting and canoodling with others or merely developing hobbies. My friend's photo explosion seemed to manifest overnight as endless streams of pictures of his girlfriend on his smartphone began showing up, everywhere. Recently he's been going on about wanting fancier camera equipment, as a means to hone his chops.
I know this feeling. I fully understand this longing to obtain and to compare my toys with others. However, one thing that I have learned along the way, as someone who grew up growing an interest in photography as a child behind a relatively useless 110 camera or the occasional Polaroid, when they were still in vogue, is that there will always be bigger and better tools. It's up to the artist to push the limits of their current situation and their present means to an end. And simply: create.
(97)
hazy shade . . .
Vitality shows in not only the ability to persist but the ability to start over.
~ F. Scott Fitzgerald
Thanks to the brilliant early 1990s comedy of Groundhog Day, February second can now become synonymous with a day for self-analysis, reflection, and taking stock. Even though I had barely thought of it, as I slugged back my coffee and watched as Phil took a look for his shadow in clips on Good Morning America, the day had much in store.
By the time it all hit me, it really didn't surprise me in the least that this horoscope would land in my lap:
Since last August, you may have been dealing with the farewell process of Neptune leaving your sign. For some Aquarians, it was a battle for boundaries.
If you feel like spending the day in an ashram in a seated lotus pose, no one would blame you. This is the final day in your lifetime that spiritual Neptune will be in Aquarius. You’ve hosted the dreamy planet since 1998 and it’s allowed you to evolve into a person of great depth. Tomorrow, it moves on to Pisces and your money house, helping you find your soul purpose—and profit from it. Spend today in reflection: how have you become more enlightened over the past 13 years? Acknowledge yourself generously: it’s not like this has been the easiest journey, but you’ve made it!
(96)
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