food poisoning.

I was up above it
Now I'm down in it
-nine inch nails

I knew as soon as I saw her name pop up in my email yesterday morning that I would be losing one of my hard-found four actors for this tightly woven ensemble piece that has taken quite a beating so far. As we are fifty plus days out from show, the last thing we needed was to be back down to a 75% cast. Interestingly enough she was also the last to confirm. I don't fault her. I know she had anxiety about the show. It wasn't expressed this way, but I predict the material might be a farther reach for her perceived talents. I could see it in her, though. I know with work we could have gone some amazing places with her performance. She called out a variety of conflicts, which are completely understandable. I have no cause to let my show have negative affects on the rest of someone's reality.

A mad scramble laid across my Monday at work, leaving the casting situation dangling precariously for a mere seven hours. In acts of desperation, one can very quickly muster up loads of determination. I have my heart and soul invested in this show, and as the old adage instructs: it must go on. A slight change of direction led me to tentatively cast a multi-talented actor friend mine, who I invited out to our rehearsal under the auspices of essentially reading for the part.

The more I reconfigured things, the more right she felt for the part, becoming a reminder of the unexpected blessings found under various levels of duress. As our lead is away during our first week of rehearsals, I had my girlfriend read her part. The newly created other 75% of the cast melded beautifully, as did my girlfriend's complete understanding of the direction I am taking the show, because her reading was frequently spot-on and allowed the other actors the chance to really pull some great punches.

And this show knows from floggings. The complete truth was revealed as our read-through wound down into chatter, laughter, and wonderfully evolved enjoyment of each others company.

My stage manager also happens to be the head of the board of directors for the theater. This is mostly coincidental and also because I consider her amongst my trusted friends. As it turns out, the head of promotions for the theater and the director of the show ahead of mine sent an alert out to the board members in the hopes to have my show pulled from the season. Suddenly all of the sabotaging, all of the passive-aggressive toned emails, and the condescension started to make more sense. He had no intention of respecting my need to share usage of the space or my goal to have a crisp, enthusiastic support team who will equally promote my show as his.

Since it was clear that the production has been periodically treading water, I can thank him for helping to poison the well. Adding insult to injury will only make Papa Bear angry. And as this whole matter just adds additional layers of truth to the pudding of the show. I'll just stir a few more times and move on.