comfort zone

I have watched as old friends have children and shift into parents. They suddenly speak in a new tongue and participate in entirely different activities. The glimmer of the people I once knew barely shows behind that other entity. Slowly as they become a reflection of the events in their child's life and not their own, the relationship we had becomes a figment of the past. It is presumed that my only wish is a front row seat for the show over some coffee, a flurry of colorful pictures, and invitations to kiddy events.

Now, it has dissipated in recent years, but I remember every occasion my brother would visit he'd give me one of those big brother bear hugs, which would be promptly followed by the moment when he'd push down on my shoulders in an effort to get me to shrink. For a great many years he kept trying to have me remain ten-years-old. This was that me he knew best and the one he could maintain in his mind.

There's a lot to those little boxes people put each other in. It's an easy way to keep things organized, neat, and orderly. It's a way to keep time from getting away. It even helps us know who to invite to what sort of event. When people grow it complicates things, it seems to make others uncomfortable, and it shows wear in the foundations of relationships. Sometimes people get so cubby-holed and their lives become so stagnant that they have no choice but to change, to grow, and to do things that don't seem like them selves.

I'm sometimes seen as that quiet writer type with the little notebook, the cryptic responses, and supposed elusiveness. I definitely spent a good number of years camera shy, which may account for my pursuing a behind-the-scenes career. This last week, however, I was an actor. I can really only attest to this because I got up in front of an audience with three fellow cast members, memorized many of my lines, and got paid for doing just that. We were involved in a prepared stage reading of an award winning play.

Taking yourself out of your comfort zone affords you the opportunity to express parts of yourself others might be blind to. It also opens you up to see yourself better. Being involved in this was such a welcome change and seriously invigorating. I think sometimes we impose these boxes on ourselves. Sometimes we will only let ourselves reach a certain distance and grow just so far before we figure we're there.