drama mama.

“Insecurity is love dressed in a child's clothing.” Gaelic Proverb

I have played on both sides of the fence when it comes to interpreting the distinction between the world before social media and the one we live in now. Surely I've been one to say that people act differently, or how my preference leans one way or the other. It seems so easy to plague the current generation's major communication form for abbreviated and harsh fashions of dealing with one another, but I'm actually thinking more and more that all it does is intensify what already exists.

I know someone with extreme esteem issues will likely spend every third day updating their Facebook status to its full character length with a long, meandering, rambling statement. It will be something welcoming pity and craving attention, and may often literally state these are not what are being sought. The begging and pleading for note and presumed advisement will be a lost cause by day's end, since the quick fix of interaction will not have had much effect at all and some variation on the same theme will show up periodically for time immemorial.

I believe it's a human imperative to go through awkwardness and discomfort about the flesh we wear. Without something to fight against, we often have no room for growth. But full grown adults should know better than to zip about the world dropping grenades along their tracks like breadcrumbs to etch out a trail of where they've been. Our problems are ours alone.

There's a concept that I realized without a phrase early on in my life, but discovered words for it about fifteen years ago. The world is populated by what spins in the new-aged pop psychology under the term energy vampire (also emotional vampire or psychic vampire). Whether or not your belief system allows for the concept of real world vampires, you can likely think of people with whom time spent is extremely taxing and after which you feel completely drained.

These folks do tend to bring a lot of drama and, in many cases, passive-aggressive tendencies. Over time I have disengaged myself more and more from these sort of people, using the block feature on my Facebook and literal distance in my real world approach to them. Unfortunately one can not always take a legal standing against such folks.

For one thing, I have a full time job with one such person. Recently our workplace was expecting the big-big boss to show up, to assess, criticize, and drop some whoop-ass. Despite my full support for the venture, this procrastinator had the audacity to drop some last minute panic in my lap in a text that culminated with: I am so totally screwed. Oh, well.

OH, WELL. There are few better bombs dropped on the English language than this phrase. What a brilliant way to give in and shoot up the place in a barrage of blame all in the same breath. It has taken me a long time, but I have found better ways to navigate my interactions with people like this. One thing of import is the ability to ignore the distracting bullshit conversations with them tend to get riddled with, and to instead focus only on what might be accurate.

I tell you, If anyone hates to be ignored, it's those blessed with this terrible disposition. They are quick to dive into the murky pools of resentment and insecurity. If you let it bug you, it's ugly, it's distracting, and it's all encompassing. These people become the conversation if you're not careful. They splatter their poison on you, even when they're many miles away. They want a reaction. Their air of self-importance and entitlement absolutely demand it.

Of course yesterday evening would close with an email containing these cherished words from my pop:

There are only two people on earth who have known you longer than you've known yourself. Your Mom and I. No news is very mystifying, if not downright scary. Please communicate.

As the writings in this blog can attest, as can those who know me best, I have never been particularly or consistently close with my parents. We have often done a dance of curiosity in an attempt to balance our extreme differences and our surprising sprinkling of similarities. I have spoken with them sometime within the last four or five weeks. Given history that's pretty damned current.




Ah, well.