bitter. sweet.

Look around me
I can see my life before me
Running rings around the way
It used to be
-Wasted on the Way (Graham Nash)

As the darkest of storm clouds gathered above the theatre, the cast and crew of the show disassembled the tangible pieces of our play, packing things away and cleaning up the remnants of our short-lived presence there. Under the shadow of the approaching rain, a palpable sense of urgency to clear out and move on was felt by all.

From a numbers position this show was a total failure. One can never fully grasp the why of failings, but it doesn't hurt to ponder. Our three weekend schedule was up against big name plays, a hippie music fest and other local concerts of note, Gator home games, and the like. Following all of the controversy that started up the rehearsal process, the theatre attacked my show with kid gloves and blinders, most notably the so-dubbed Promotions Chair person. The lonesome task of promoting the show with everything else fell quite heavily on my henchwoman and myself, yet even those efforts wore through with holes as positive Facebook event respondents with familiar names (friends, acquaintances, and frequent enthusiasts) ultimately numbered fifty plus in no shows. The mind becomes boggled by streams of disappointment.

Then again, from a creative standpoint, I feel this play was the most assured work of my career. Though I bypassed the budget several times over, straight from pocket, I put every red cent on the stage in highly tangible ways. The audience was instantly engulfed by a set that offered nothing extraneous, but set tone, suggested what was to come, and sold itself as a livable space. The production also offered me the chance to work with actors in new ways I hadn't explored before, thus helping us create an ensemble cast dynamic of actors who knew their characters inside and out, and shared much underlying chemistry with those they've supposedly known for the better part of twenty years.

Oh, how quickly our show's flame flickered out. Our swan song may have been the strongest performance of the whole run, as choreographed and tailored stage elements properly aligned with audience response. It was one of only a couple occasions that we received standing ovations. The production had been pinned down and against many an odd for such an extended period of time, only to be cut off at the knees as it began to rise, dusting itself off, building up confidence and steam. This beast of a show was tranquilized before it could truly have a profound impact. The old philosophical quandary about a tree falling in the forest would apply well to this one.