anti hero

HIATUS
a gap or passage in an anatomical part of organ.

The anatomy lesson reads like so: opinions are like assholes. Everyone's got one.

AMC's highly regarded Breaking Bad ended its run last night. I have no input on the matter. I never saw more than a scene or two from it, thanks to promos here and there on awards shows and about the internet. My dark, twisty, anti-hero show of choice, Dexter, ran it's course the week before. I tend to keep my eyes off boards of this sort or another, especially as they relate to television programs.

Dexter's swan song was different, however. I couldn't get away from heavy handed remarks made by friends on their Facebook pages. And by that, I mean downright mean, uncharacteristic, and at times judgmental commentaries. The nifty hide and block features allow for a smoother road trip, but without these sort of personal designations the internet is rampant with unchecked aggression. We are overly inundated. Since everyone has a forum of one sort of other, it seems many people would prefer to simply yell the harshest, loudest thing possible to gain notice.

HIATUS
an interruption in time or continuity.

I have been on a lengthy hiatus from this forum on which I have been known to unload etchings of my lizard brain from time to time. Writing, like most pursuits, have consequences for absence. It is all too easy to lose the habit of it, allowing any number of other things to take precedence. I have a lot of almost books and other such material ferreted away that represent dropping the proverbial ball.

After a viewing of the surprisingly effective and engaging biopic Hitchcock, I caught a forty year old interview with the man himself in an appearance on the Dick Cavett Show. Essentially making reference to all art forms, he stated how he is always in the midst of directing. It's simply a part of his being. I can relate to that in a variety of ways.

I've been over this territory before, but I will decree here and now that there's no such thing as writer's block. That's not why I didn't post in here. I haven't been without words, or without expression, I've simply been putting all of that energy to better use elsewhere.

dirty laundry.

I like to keep my issues drawn
But it's always darkest before the dawn
Shake it out. Shake it out,
Shake it out... Oh-woah!!
  ~Florence + the Machine (2011)

When I was just shy of six-years-old I propped myself up on the counter of the second floor bathroom of the family's townhouse. Taking scissors in hand, I did my damnedest to straighten out and clean up what I perceived to be an unkempt mop atop my head. In the meantime since then I have spotted only a mere one or two ugly images from then bearing evidence that foretold of the sophisticated British hairline I would later develop.

Although these are hardly concerns I bother with given the '70's rock star beard and tresses I wear about town these days, the simple fact about hair cuts remains the same about many other aspects of life: there's no taking back too much.

The bane of the social media explosion of the past ten years is that of a pulpit open twenty-four hours a day. The expense of self-expression that unlimited is the construction of endless entitlement, whereby your concerns must be my concerns, your woes are now my woes, your sadness and dwelling shall be my cue to remedy, and so forth. I'm not above being there for a friend truly in need, but there's a harsher judgment to be shown toward those who have no ability to hold their tongue and must air out every thread of their laundry, no matter how snotty, how stained, how bloody, or seriously none of my business.

I take my art creation and consumption to visceral extremes, seeing the daring of new and unsettling exploration. I am not one to be easily offended by these things, but instead find the challenge invigorating. There is certainly a contradiction. I spent part of my morning performing an autopsy on our Amana clothes dryer trying to conclude what killed it. Maybe it's not so much what you do with your dirty laundry, as much as how often.

be longing

STATICECLECTICISM is an on-line handle I have been carrying around for some time. I chose it based on the title of this brief bit of free form poetry I wrote to a kindred spirit of mine in November of 1998. I found myself attached to it as a secondary identity, because to me it spoke to a desire to be outside of norms and as a reminder to be ever evolving.

For me, creation sprouts from the culling together of many varied elements, whether dream, experience, memory, experimentation, research, synchronicity, or simply blind luck. Yet to remain static within endless possibilities addresses much larger concepts for me. I find that art without obstacles is rarely created and certainly quickly forgotten.

Boundaries can only be pushed when there is resistance and life is barely lived without challenge.

counter requiem

Lewis Carroll suggested we weave our tale by starting at the beginning. Shifts in narrative taste and the translation of truth into prose offers alternative paths to explore. It is often a better idea to jump into the deep end of the pool rather than talking yourself out of the whole swim knee deep in cold water, still holding onto the railing.

I have not written in here for months. This has hardly been due to a lack of words, which spout from my salivary spigot at a high rate on a daily basis due to necessity of rote oral defecation brought on by maintaining a talking job. Over the years, I have fine tuned my mode of delivery to avoid the robotics of many of my compatriots who have passed on, and those of the nervous newbies who've only recently joined us at the front. But half of what transpires is mindless at best and misleading at worst. The other fifty percent is made up of under-appreciated, under-valued quality information and of course plenty of one liners. My need for psychological exposition has been great. And dammit all, I have been hard pressed for quality creative outlets, or more than the occasional one night stand with the writer in me, because writing the most interesting, eloquent, grammatically correct work-related emails hasn't been cutting it.

My inner photographer hasn't let up, however. My aging companion of a camera travels with me nearly everywhere I go like some ventriloquist's dummy, countering my thoughts and echoing my visions without my needing to say a single word. I have captured thousands of images in a reasonably short time. The barrage of inspiration has been so strong. I have recognized the need and more importantly the ability to never put away the aching artist side of myself. With or without reward or note, it doesn't only have to come out to play on the weekends, but can remain in everything I do.

look away!!

hell - 43
damn - 23
god damn - 5
pussy - 2
dick - 1
shit - 11
fuck -25
c<>t - 0

total # of posts: 481


When I was in middle school, I found Peter Benchley's original novel of Jaws at one of the many bargain bin garage sales my local branch of the library had. This was during an early surge of insatiable curiosity and avarice for all things storytelling. I had seen Spielberg's movie adaptation plenty of times, but I had never read it's source material.

It was a thick, daunting book that turned out to be a swift read. By the time I got around to reading it, at any rate. In the meanwhile it sat with hundreds of others, collecting dust on my shelf as I tore through library book after library book, often at the neglect of the ones I actually owned. But then my honor's English teacher offered us the chance to pick a novel to read for which we'd do an oral and visual presentation. I decided to go for this one.

I thought it'd be a breeze. I'd be able to tie it in with the movie, since my facination for film was advancing exponentially, during this time as well. But then I actually read it. And for a kid at that formative time, I was quite taken aback when I realized just the sort of elements Popcorn Steven had omitted in his version of the story. I can assure you there were certain key passages that found themselves read again and again, from specially dog earred pages.

When it came time to put together my presentation, I went artsy and nostalgic on the visual presentation by creating a newspaper from 1974 from scratch (no small feat in a time that seemed to pre-date everything I would use today to create the same thing), and a bit of a bullet-like retelling of key points of the shark tale. I skipped the whole matter of the sex, the nudity, and the graphic descriptions of things I had only begun to truly piece together. It became my dirty little secret from the class.

There is something thrilling about having an extra ounce of knowing. It's the excitement one gets from leaving the panties in the hamper when they go out or from whispering something off-color in a stuffy setting. Truthfully , it's our human ability to have whatever kind of thoughts we desire whenever or wherever we are. There's a gratification in that.

There are alternate, often unseen sides to most of life. I certainly think about that in context with this blog. I have been posting and posting pictures and observations for six years now. One could create a whole other page from all of the things left unsaid. There's so much buried within the phrases I have chosen or between the images posted. Somewhere between the combination of the two, the full story is transmitted.

More and more, especially over the better part of the past three years, what I've shared has been to the extent to what I would care to share. Fewer thoughts have been redacted. And it has taken me far less time to scribe the message. Words have flowed much, much faster. I believe it's because the life I live now has fewer barriers.

But then there's the pictures. My current series of images have just kept coming, as I end up snapping pictures nearly every single day. But still not everything seems appropriate for posting. Is it because this blog is still suggested for general audiences? I know a lot of people to whom the word mature would not apply, though they are considered adult. I think some of the concepts and ideas I spin here have a, pardon me, depth not found in most underage folks.

Is it merely the sight of nipples and not the suggestion that makes something adult?

(208)

mortal coil

These days we are constantly advertising for ourselves. We have become so used to creating profiles representing all of those things we are about, that we support, that define us. We update like mad our bylines on the likes of Twitter and Facebook, as a means to stay prominent and noticeable. When we're out in the warm glow of human interaction, our phones come out ready for presentation and proof of our popularity and importance. We are a growing concern.

Right? Aren't we? We're special. We stand out. I swear it!

The need for external validation is huge. Our disconnect is so extreme that in a drive to be seen for who and what we are, I have seen too many reinvent themselves at the cost of their own identity. They wear their new and improved packaging with discomfort and a painted on smile. Reinvention at its core is a beautiful theory and philosophy, but so many are a dishonest representation of it.

(200)

an in

I was recently told a theory on memory. Pick a year from your life. Now try to recall x, y, z details about it. Each recollection is said to unlock another piece, until you really start to uncover key parts of the story.

Sure, not all of life is worth reliving. At least not our own. There's too much pain, too much uncertainty, too many dead ends, but living it secondhand through the words, images, or sounds of those works that we return to again and again. That's not a problem. It's vicarious living. And it's safer.

I am sure you've done this. You've found yourself flipping through television channels, stumbling upon a familiar movie well on its way. And then you get caught up. You might have even been watching something else, currently on a commercial break.

A story well-told unfolds in such a fashion that each piece overlaps the last as well as the following. The mosaic it paints makes so much sense that we become enwrapped within it. This is true of books, movies, theatre, or even within our favorite music. Each time through we begin to recall how perfectly the next part follows.

The pieces of our life make similar sense, in retrospect. Each event eclipses the next. Over time, the more we look inward, the more noticable the saga becomes. If the universe can be expanding then the same can be true of our human lives. Personally, I can see it on my slight scale how each piece of my life has led to the next. Even simply reading back through this blog, new things reveal themselves. What's revealed and what's absent certainly tells quite a tale.

One of the key shifts I've recognized is a change in dynamics. Each person who enters and leaves our life readjusts the tone of it. We all can have such great affect on one another, whether positive, detrimental, or somewhere in between. Like attracts like, separating the honest from the false. Old friends return, holding new meaning. New friends are created as families expand.

And thus, we enter a new chapter.

(190)

silent hush.

This brief hiatus will cease shortly.

Thanks for dropping by.

multi- tsk-tsk

As of today, my self-prescribed photographic blog journey is 41% complete. For the last five months this page could easily be subtitled something in that vain. Today also marks 365 days since I dove into the deep end on a thirty day song challenge. So, as I get set to stir a 30 day film challenge into the mix, I submit a cable season replacement show's worth of unsung posts from that previous series:

a song that boosts your confidence/self-esteem
a song suitable for a break-up
a song in a foreign language
a song that got you through a hard time
a song that makes you hungry
a song you want played at your wedding
&
(something about) the next ten songs on your iPod

Stay tuned.

to simplicity

Recently I discovered the second season of the Bravo reality show, Work of Art: The Next Great Artist which follows a group of artists as they create art brought on by a variety of jumping off points and with vague parameters. On a recent episode, each of the artists attempted to create pop art (Andy Warhol's awkward adopted baby) for the modern age. As I have been traveling through my spontaneous blog picture-taking voyage, I have been thinking a lot about a quote by Warhol about why he originally painted the Campbell's Soup cans. Basically he said it was because it was what he had for lunch. Who says one needs to plod off halfway around the world to find inspiration?

(29)

seeking: balance

Many musicians have fielded the question about whether the music or the lyrics come first. It's another variation on the egg-chicken riddle. Like dreams, inspiration comes to us piecemeal, which we glue together after the fact in easier to translate fashion. In life it becomes a matter of finding the proper measurement of looking forward and gazing backward to create the complete image of the present.

(2)

mixed metaphor.

I loathe stating the obvious.

I am fascinated by the power of images. And I adore spinning words into tasty phrases. As should be clear upon reading this blog, I prefer to let them meld on their own. The connection between my choice of imagery and the associated wordplay is yours to make. As I undertake another photo journey, I don't predict a commentary track, but I do expect a deeper exploration of both of these passions.

(1)

π challenge.

(11.11.11, said I) - I am considering committing to another blog challenge. Many others have attempted to undertake a post a day for a 365 day period. I tried two 30 day challenges earlier in the year. I still have a few remaining ideas from bursting those at the seams. As November 10th is the 314th day of the year, and has a bit of multi-layered significance to me, I am leaning toward challenging myself to a 314 photo effort.

The main reason anyone ever undertakes something such as write a novel in a month, or take a picture a day for a year, or drink eight glasses of water each day is to create a verifiable commitment with more likely results. Vague ideas like wanting to write more or exercise more are certifiably the worst ways to ever do something.

So, here goes:

314 posts with 314 photos.
And since I know I can't possibly post every single day,
I'll give myself 365 days to accomplish this.

gimme π.

I am considering committing to another blog challenge. Many others have attempted to undertake a post a day for a 365 day period. I tried two 30 day challenges earlier in the year. I still have a few remaining ideas from bursting those at the seams. As November 10th is the 314th day of the year, and has a bit of multi-layered significance to me, I am leaning toward challenging myself to a 314 photo effort.

re: design

1 pt. feline curiosity
1 pt. time constraint

result - incidental new page design

I will be back soon for more pseudo-consequential wording.

I hate smartphones and the smorgasbord of idiots who use them, but I am a tad curious about the layout options that have availed themselves due to that whole mess.

invisible man.

Twenty days have passed since my last post. This is an especially long time, given the frequency of my writing over the past six months. It has been an exhaustive stretch of time, over the course of which I have been doing my damnedest to keep ahead of the proverbial eight ball.

The demands of working at a corporate business that is open seven days a week and continues to add obtuse requirements to every customer interaction and is quick to put jobs on the line can put its strain upon anyone's shoulders. Add in the desperately under-staffed aspect that has become the condition of the last five weeks at my location and it's no wonder one day is hard to distinguish from the next.

Toss in zero recognition for all of the ways I have helped to keep things together during this Lord of the Flies period while our figurehead and accidental pseudo-manager (think President Laura Roslin in Battlestar Galactica) has stumbled through operational bits and bauble with his usual blinders on. I have seen the numbers. I know that I have been doing far more than my share of the work with no notice.

It's enough to wear a guy down.

retro fit

Alright, I'll play the game too.

meme n. A unit of cultural information, such as a cultural practice or idea, that is transmitted verbally or by repeated action from one mind to another.

The internet overflows with so-called memes of one sort or another. Mostly it comes in the form of a simple duplicated process like changing one's networking site pic to the dictator you most resemble or the like. Recently one has insinuated itself onto myriad blogs. It's the '30 Day Challenge'. In some cases, it's purely photo focused and in others it suggests a blog subject - each running their course over thirty days or more likely thirty posts over a longer length of time.

Much like the antiquated game of telephone, subtle changes occur to on-line questionnaires and their brethren with continued rotation over time. Before deciding on a list, I scouted out a number of different sites to try and find the most interesting collection for myself, removing all references to Justin Bieber and the phrase 'dream cell phone' from the mix.

Then I put it on shuffle and here we are - left vague for a reason, leaving open the possibility for words, pictures, and my usual meandering:

(01) Introduce yourself
(02) Your first love
(03) One of your scars
(04) Moments that changed your life
(05) Lyrics that apply to your current situation
(06) You truly being yourself
(07) Your beliefs
(08) Your special someone
(09) Most stimulating thing you've learned this week
(10) Favorite smell
(11) Picture of you from your younger years
(12) Something that turns you on
(13) A movie that makes you cry
(14) Love
(15) Your last night out
(16) Favorite fruit
(17) 5 things you've lost & where they might be
(18) Picture of your handwriting
(19) Something you don't like
(20) Big purchase you'd make if you won the lottery
(21) Celebrity you'd like in your bed
(22) Something you bought from an adult store
(23) Your side of the bed
(24) Five things in reach of you right now
(25) List of songs that make you emotional
(26) Anything
(27) Photo of you from your last social event
(28) Something irrational that you think or do
(29) Song you want played at your funeral
(30) Your favorite place

(31+) Should any of the above fail to incite my interest when I broach them or if I tear through them and want more, these are my runner-ups:
[taking suggestions - come on, I'm spontaneous]

carbon copy

I completely stopped writing here a few months ago. It was a deliberate action, even though I'd been - for all intents and purposes - maintaining a personal blog for two and a half years. I've instead begun working on entries for a professional site that should be up and running in the near future.

In the meanwhile, though, "Pallid" has passed this along via their page:

“HAVE YOU EVER . . .?”

Underline the things you’ve done and will admit to.

1. Started your own blog

*twice, but this second one became an extension of the first.

2. Slept under the stars

*I can pretty well fall asleep anywhere, plus I was sent away to camp as a kid several times.

3. Played in a band

*not the cool kind, though - I was in school band from middle school and into high school when it morphed into marching band.

4. Visited Hawaii

*only in my dreams and my dreams of a close friend who lives there.

5. Watched a meteor shower

*on several occasions, although the most recent was not as astounding as one I saw in 2003.

6. Given more than you can afford to charity

*oh, yes! there's something about charity that always seems more important than the electric company.

7. Been to Disneyland/world

*Disney World - three times, I think. there are much better ways to spend one's time.

8. Climbed a mountain

*as long as hiking a mountain counts, because I can't say I ventured Everest.

9. Held a praying mantis

*I think so. it was a kid thing. I was more into rolly-polly's, though.

10. Sang a solo

*only in the shower.

11. Bungee jumped

*likely won't either.

12. Visited Paris

*I guess this is where the list depresses me.

13. Watched a lightning storm at sea

*not deep into the ocean, but at the beach and on a boat in an inlet.

14. Taught yourself an art from scratch

*I've lost much of it, but I taught myself a bit of piano via a harmonium (basically a pipe organ).

15. Adopted a child

*a sponsor child like you see on TV.

16. Had food poisoning

*shut up.

17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty

*nope, but I have been to the top of the Empire State Building.

18. Grown your own vegetables

*in a plastic cup in fifth grade.

19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France

*ugh - stop it with the international stuff.

20. Slept on an overnight train

*plan to - it's very Hitchockian!

21. Had a pillow fight

*yeah, but can't remember what the point was.

22. Hitch hiked

*no, but held out thumb when my mom's car had a flat in the middle of nowhere many eons ago.

23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill

*from school, from work, from life . . . it's the oldest excuse in the book.

24. Built a snow fort

*ahhhhhhh. yes.

25. Held a lamb

*a lamb chop counts?

26. Gone skinny dipping

*hehe.

27. Run a Marathon

*don't foresee it either.

28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice

*damn Europe!

29. Seen a total eclipse

*yes ... and love the Bonnie Tyler song too.

30. Watched a sunrise or sunset

*both!!!

31. Hit a home run

*in little league I was more a hustler than a consistent enough hitter for such a lineup, but I did get one in kickball.

32. Been on a cruise

*no thank you.

33. Seen Niagara Falls in person

*nah.

34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors

*I barely know their names.

35. Seen an Amish community

*from afar driving through New England.

36. Taught yourself a new language

*still working on English.

37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied

*haha ... as if that was the point.

38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person

*again with the Italy! who wrote this thing?

39. Gone rock climbing

*and repelling ... great fun!!

40. Seen Michelangelo’s David

*nope.

41. Sung karaoke

*only briefly ... it was a party pass the mic situation.

42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt

*that just sounds naughty.

43. Bought a stranger a meal in a restaurant

*no, but that doesn't mean I've been stingy with strangers. I've given a stranger cab fare before.

44. Visited Africa

*not even the completely wrong Toto version.

45. Walked on a beach by moonlight

*yes ... so much better than during sunlight.

46. Been transported in an ambulance

*no ... just the family car at high speeds when I was real little.

47. Had your portrait painted

*I haven't even had one of those caricatures done.

48. Gone deep sea fishing

*nope, but I've eaten plenty of its yummy offerings.

49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person

*some person who travelled to Italy wrote this, didn't they?

50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris

*oh, and they just went to France too.

51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling

*snorkeling in the Florida Keys and some springs where I lost my flipper.

52. Kissed in the rain

*for sure.

53. Played in the mud

*a lot as a child. in fact, went down a natural mudslide as well.

54. Gone to a drive-in theater

*never saw a movie there, but I do believe I've been to one.

55. Been in a movie

*nothing anyone has ever seen. I was an extra.

56. Visited the Great Wall of China

*no tour of Asia for me. it seems like it'd be quite a remarkable sight.

57. Started a business

*presently ... for maybe the third time.

58. Taken a martial arts class

*watched.

59. Visited Russia

*almost went to this place called Moldova in a student exchange thing in high school.

60. Served at a soup kitchen

*is there a strict definition of soup kitchen going around, because I definitely served soup multiple times at a homeless shelter. we also did spaghetti, but spaghetti kitchen sounds more like a restaurant than soup kitchen.

61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies

*bought-bought-bought. I want more now. thanks.

62. Gone whale watching

*no, but I hear Maine is a good place to do this.

63. Gotten flowers for no reason

*does this mean from someone or given to someone? either way, I think it's a yes.

64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma

*no ... I guess I'm selfish. I get all tense getting blood tests.

65. Gone sky diving

*it looks much better from the ground, I think.

66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp

*where the hell did this one come from?

67. Bounced a check

*I don't think I want to know someone who hasn't.

68. Flown in a helicopter

*I've always wanted to, although I hear it's unbareably loud.

69. Saved a favorite childhood toy

*I actually have a strange collection of less than favorite childhood toys. I guess I could say yes, though. I could qualify a couple of those things like this.

70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial

*yes. it's one of my favorite places in Washington D.C.

71. Eaten Caviar

*sure. I could do without it again.

72. Pieced a quilt

*merely slept under one.

73. Stood in Times Square

*yup. until I was knocked down. nah, I'm kidding. I do love New York, though and it's so iconic, but it's hardly my favorite place in NYC.

74. Toured the Everglades

*this sounds like an airboat ride. hmm.

75. Been fired from a job

*not a pleasant experience.

76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London

*would love to go to London!

77. Broken a bone

*luckily not.

78. Been on a speeding motorcycle

*only the video game simulator version.

79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person

*can't say I have.

80. Published a book

*no, but I'm copywritten several times over.

81. Visited the Vatican

*again!

82. Bought a brand new car

*yup, and just paid it off too!

83. Walked in Jerusalem

*is that safe?

84. Had your picture in the newspaper

*not the newspaper so much as a variety of little know rags.

85. Read the entire Bible

*I won't lie ... I skimmed, so I wouldn't say I've read the whole thing. what I do know is it sags in the middle and has a tacked on third act.

86. Visited the White House

*not inside.

87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating

*why does question 87 follow 86? is that coincidental?

88. Had chickenpox

*in kindergarten or first grade.

89. Saved someone’s life

*theoretically - in a counseling fashion, although I could hardly bold it just for that.

90. Sat on a jury

*was signed up for one, but we were cancelled.

91. Met someone famous

*as long as famous has a wide birth.

92. Joined a book club

*and realized I don't read enough books I also want to own to be in a book club. wait, this could also be construed as the reading circle type book club. I meant the buying books by mail sort. hmm, interesting.

93. Lost a loved one

*this can be taken in many ways and in many ways I can say yes.

94. Had a baby

*funny phrasing.

95. Seen the Alamo in person

*I have no interest in this.

96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake

*I've never been to Utah.

97. Been involved in a law suit

*just no.

98. Owned a cell phone

*yes. haven't we all at this point?

99. Been stung by a bee

*I actually don't think so. even as a kid.

SO NOW ... How about you?

mortal majority

I started to write something new this past Tuesday night. I didn't end up posting it because I wasn't certain if I had anything interesting to say. Some thoughts began connecting in my mind, but there is a filter which all of these ideas, observations, and revelations are shoved through. There's a personal censor that seeks to thwart my every attempt at keeping up with this blog. I have that part of me sedated at the moment.

The wife and I have been meeting our friend at films on the lawn type screenings for the past several Tuesdays. The season has been arranged as somewhat of a world tour. Last Tuesday's film was in Britain for "The War Game", a short anti-war pseudo-documentary from the mid-sixties that deals candidly and topically with a theoretical aftermath of a nuclear attack. Clearly it's a perfect date movie - an upbeat, laugh-a-minute sort of affair, if you will. Actually some people did laugh a lot, but I think they were drinking.

Separate from the tenuous political situation and short mental fuse of our government, what I really want to talk about is the dream I had the night before this. As usual I don't remember very many details, but it did contain a surprising nuclear attack of our small Northern Florida town. The predictable emotional elements of such a thing were intact from the consommate fear and panic, but it's not as if my dream was without whimsy. The bomb itself flew right past where I was and was shaped not unlike the animation in "Rocky & Bullwinkle".

I'm hardly the paranoid folk that my parents are, so I quickly wrote off the obvious, foreboding implications of my mind's inner musings and dashed straight toward a Google search. The dream interpretation site Dream Moods says this dream:

...suggests feelings of helplessness, being threatened and loss of control. You may be experiencing great hostility and rage to the point of being destructive. Alternatively, you may be expressing a desire to wipe out some aspect of yourself. It may also be an indication that something crucial and precious to you has ended and important changes are about to occur.

There might be something to that. The strength of my slumber has changed drastically, especially over the course of the six months since we moved to this new house. The immediate changes that happened were stark. The insomnia wasn't hitting me. I was sleeping through the night and all of that. In itself this is something unusual for me.

Lately my body has followed my natural circadian rhythms toward official night owl status. Now my sleep has been deep, my dreams intense, and I feel myself leaving a heavy indention on the mattress. There's clearly something recognizable going on.

Toss this into the mix:

I dreamt that I was going up the side of a hill. It was visually a hill at distance, but once I began to make my ascent it was a fuckin' mountain that I was foisting myself up with my bare hands. I held on for dear life, as I groped at dirt and clumps of sod to get to this specific destination, this hotel, or some such. What was peculiar was that no one else around me seemed to be having the same struggles. Bicyclists, pedestrians, and runners moved along with seemingly no effort.

This one seems a touch more obvious, but:

To dream that you are climbing a hill signifies your struggles in
achieving a goal.

To see mountains in your dream signifies many major obstacles and challenges that you have to overcome. Alternatively, mountains denote a higher realm of consciousness, knowledge, and spiritual truth. To dream that you are climbing a mountain signifies your determination and
ambition.

happy archivist

I have just gotten around to transporting all of the old blogs from the other site over to here. I feel like a record label milking an unproductive artist's back catalog for all it's worth. Whatever the case, it allows this page to paint a much broader picture.

This was partly inspired by joining another networking site within the past couple days. The friend sites haven't exactly proven fruitful for my career, but one more equipped for professional networking was recently recommended to me. I decided to check it out, so I've started to build a page there.

As idealistic as it sounds, I live by the notion that the true measure of a person is not their list of accomplishments represented by a résumé, but truly who they are as an individual. So, I find myself in a quandary.

The more time I spend on that site, constructing what feels like the picture of the ever evolving job application, I wonder whether or not I would like to bridge the gap between that page and this one by posting a link. On the one hand, this page feels somewhat representative of my writing ability. On the other, I must consider all of the varied personal information I weave into it that makes removing the veil of anonymity a bit disconcerting.