getting nothing but STATIC

birthday feast.

2012-02-13T15:11:00.003-05:00

Likely one ingredient per year I've been alive. Score!

(101)

empty orchestra.

2012-02-13T14:13:00.049-05:00

As of today the world's population is estimated to be 6.994 billion. With those sort of numbers who is all that surprised when God doesn't answer their prayers? Isn't it any wonder our call really isn't all that important to them? Most of us really just blend into the background, without an exposé or reality show or even fifteen minutes of anything particular to our fame.

I posit that we all want to have our imprint on something. We all want some variation on our moment, something beyond that impersonal shout-out during some equivalent to that namedrop graduation ceremony or something beyond that mass mailer who happens to know us by our first name. For me, one thing that definitely fuels my fire is karaoke, that much maligned and often misunderstood Japanese art form.

Whether due to an economic downturn or simply an upsurge of involvement by me and my scattershot friend base during the past several years, karaoke has become a bit of an event here in town. For something that was once squeezed to the back corner of a local bowling alley now can be committed every single night of the week, at venues varying in degrees of dive factor. It's not everyone's pint of beer, and certainly some prefer to watch than to participate, but regardless it's a thoroughly interactive event. One of the reasons I love it so much is that it puts the focus for a block of time on music, for lack of a keener phrase.

I'd suggest that I'm a bit hardcore about it. I can't even remember the last time I had nerves about stepping up to the mike, which is consistently the reason some hold themselves back from it. That, and audience response. I've had my fair share of ho-hum performances, but it's the doing it that matters more than anything else. As of the four new tracks I added to my repertoire this past Saturday night, I have concluded that I have gotten behind the mic 339 times, doing the likes of 267 different songs.

So, without further ado and for the insanely curious, these are the songs I have done:

Dancing Queen by ABBA
No Excuses by Alice in Chains
Sister Golden Hair by America
House of the Rising Sun by The Animals
Obsession by Animotion
Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley
Rock Lobster by The B-52s
Ready for Love by Bad Company
The Weight by The Band
Alcohol, Brian Wilson, & What a Good Boy by Barenaked Ladies
Paul Revere by Beastie Boys
Hard to Handle by The Black Crowes
Adam's Song by Blink-182
You've Made Me So Very Happy by Blood, Sweat & Tears
Song 2 by Blur
Changes, Let's Dance, Space Oddity, & Under Pressure by David Bowie
The Letter by The Box Tops
For What it's Worth by Buffalo Springfield
Spill the Wine by Eric Burdon & War
Chemicals Between Us & Everything Zen by Bush
Pepper by Butthole Surfers
Never There & Short Skirt/Long Jacket by Cake
Dangerous Type, Moving in Stereo, Tonight She Comes, & You Might Think by The Cars
Bad Moon Rising & Have You Ever Seen the Rain? by Creedence Clearwater Revival
Under the Milky Way by The Church
London Calling & Train in Vain by The Clash
I Can See Clearly Now by Jimmy Cliff (and Johnny Nash)
Everybody Knows by Leonard Cohen
A Girl Like You by Edwyn Collins
Brick House by The Commodores
Round Here by Counting Crows
Low by Cracker
If It Makes You Happy by Sheryl Crow
Don't Dream it's Over by Crowded House
Friday, I'm in Love & Lovesong by The Cure
Mother by Danzig
Punk Rock Girl by Dead Milkmen
New Age Girl by Deadeye Dick
Roll to Me by Del Amitri
Enjoy the Silence, People are People, Personal Jesus, Policy of Truth, & Somebody by Depeche Mode
Whip it by Devo
Come on Eileen by Dexy's Midnight Runner
Sultans of Swing by Dire Straits
She Blinded Me with Science by Thomas Dolby
Sunshine Superman by Donovan
Black Water by The Doobie Brothers
Alabama Song, Five to One, Love Her Madly, Love Me Two Times, People are Strange, & Roadhouse Blues by The Doors
Subterranean Homesick Blues by Bob Dylan
Save Tonight by Eagle Eye Cherry
Heartache Tonight, Lyin' Eyes, Take it Easy, Take it to the Limit, & Witchy Woman by The Eagles
Novocaine for the Soul by the eels
Missionary Man by the Eurythmics
What It's Like by Everlast
The Way by Fastball
Signs by Five Man Electrical Band
One Thing Leads to Another by The Fixx
The Chain by Fleetwood Mac
Dirty White Boy by Foreigner
Do You Want to?, Take Me Out, & This Fire by Franz Ferdinand
You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch
Sledgehammer by Peter Gabriel
You Dropped the Bomb on Me by The Gap Band
Thunder Rolls & Two of a Kind, Working on a Full House by Garth Brooks
That's All by Genesis
Crazy by Gnarls Barkley
Voodoo by Godsmack
Twilight Zone by Golden Earring
Basketcase by Green Day
No Sugar Tonight/New Mother Nature by The Guess Who
Maneater & You Make My Dreams by Hall and Oates
Sunglasses at Night by Corey Hart
Flagpole Sitta by Harvey Danger
Hey Joe by Jimi Hendrix
Long Cool Woman in a Black Dress by The Hollies
Don't You Want Me by Human League
Vehicle by Ides of March
Dancing with Myself, Eyes without a Face, & White Wedding by Billy Idol
Torn by Natalie Imbrugula
Drive by Incubus
Devil Inside, Don't Change, & Never Tear Us Apart by INXS
Laid by James
Walk Away by The James Gang
Superfreak by Rick James
Draggin' the Line by Tommy James
Aqualung by Jethro Tull
Big Shot, Don't Ask Me Why, It's Still Rock and Roll to Me, Only the Good Die Young, &She's Always a Woman by Billy Joel
Don't go Breaking My Heart by Elton John & Kiki Dee
No One Ever is to Blame by Howard Jones
Me and Bobby McGee by Janis Joplin
You've Got Another Thing Comin' by Judas Priest
I Predict a Riot by Kaiser Chiefs
Somebody Told Me by The Killers
Detachable Penis by King Missile
Lola by The Kinks
Going to California by Led Zeppelin
Nobody Told Me & Working Class Hero by John Lennon
Brandy (You're a Fine Girl) by Looking Glass
So Alive by Love & Rockets
Sex & Candy by Marcy Playground
Paradise by the Dashboard Light by Meatloaf
Who Can it Be Now? by Men at Work
The Safety Dance by Men without Hats
Fade to Black & Stone Cold Crazy by Metallica
Beds are Burning by Midnight Oil
Abracadabra by Steve Miller
I Melt with You by Modern English
Moondance by Van Morrison
88 Lines About 44 Women by The Nails
Always on My Mind by Willie Nelson
Bizarre Love Triangle & Blue Monday by New Order
Leather & Lace by Stevie Nicks & Don Henley
Coconut by Harry Nilsson
Closer by Nine Inch Nails
Cat Scratch Fever by Ted Nugent
Dead Man's Party & Weird Science by Oingo Boingo
If You Leave by OMD
Blue Monday by Orgy
Somewhere Out There by Our Lady Peace
I Didn't Mean to Turn You On by Robert Palmer
Jolene by Dolly Parton
Better Man, Black, & Elderly Woman… by Pearl Jam
Judith by A Perfect Circle
West End Girls by Pet Shop Boys
American Girl, Breakdown, Don't Do Me Like that, Mary Jane's Last Dance, Stop Draggin' My Heart Around, & You Don't Know How it Feels by Tom Petty
Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd
Nothin' but a Good Time by Poison
Don't Stand So Close to Me & King of Pain by The Police
Suspicious Minds & You're the Boss by Elvis Presley
Standing Outside a Broken Phone Booth… by Primitive Radio Gods
Little Red Corvette & Raspberry Beret by Prince
I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles) by The Proclaimers
Silent Lucidity by Queensryche
I Love a Rainy Night by Eddie Rabbitt
Right Down the Line by Gerry Rafferty
Black Betty by Ram Jam
By the Way, Californication, Can't Stop, Give it Away, Otherside, soul to Squeeze by Red Hot Chili Peppers
Walk on the Wild Side by Lou Reed
Banditos by The Refreshments
Drive by R.E.M.
I'm too Sexy by Right Said Fred
Somebody's Watching Me by Rockwell & Michael Jackson
Islands in the Stream by Kenny Rogers & Dolly Parton
Beast of Burden, Bitch, Honky Tonk Woman, Jumpin' Jack Flash, Love is Strong, & Paint it Black by The Rolling Stones
Major Tom by Peter Schilling
Broken by Seether featuring Ami Lee of Evanescence
Turn the Page by Bob Seger & the Silver Bullet Band
It Wasn't Me by Shaggy
Cecilia by Simon & Garfunkel
Still Crazy After all These Years by Paul Simon
Don't You (Forget About Me) by Simple Minds
All for You by Sister Hazel
Walkin' on the Sun by Smash Mouth
A Girl Like You by The Smithereens
How Soon is Now? by The Smiths
Tainted Love by Soft Cell
Man of Constant Sorrow by The Soggy Bottom Boys
Runaway Train by Soul Asylum
I'm on Fire & Secret Garden by Bruce Springsteen
Flowers on the Wall by The Statler Brothers
Stuck in the Middle with You by Stealers Wheel
Wild World by Cat Stevens
Bother by Stone Sour
Interstate Love Song by Stone Temple Pilots
Stray Cat Strut by The Stray Cats
Rapper's Delight by Sugarhill Gang
Green-Eyed Lady by Sugarloaf
Ballroom Blitz by Sweet
Aerials, Innversion, & Toxicity by System of a Down
Bang a Gong (Get it On) by T. Rex
And She Was, Burning Down the House, Life During Wartime, Once in a Lifetime, & Wild, Wild Life by Talking Heads
Everybody Wants to Rule the World & Head Over Heels by Tears for Fears
Birdhouse in Your Soul & Instanbul (Not Constantinople) by They Might Be Giants
Move it on Over by George Thorogood
Mama Told Me Not to Come by Three Dog Night
Kryptonite by 3 Doors Down
Future's So Bright I Gotta Wear Shades by Timbuk 3
Possum Kingdom by The Toadies
Greased Lightning by John Travolta
Slow Hand by Conway Twitty
Girl, You'll Be a Woman Soon by Urge Overkill
The Freshman by Verve Pipe
Add it Up, Blister in the Sun, & Kiss Off by Violent Femmes
Mexican Radio by Wall of Voodoo
Low Rider by War
Wake Me Up Before You Go Go by Wham!
The Promise by When in Rome
White and Nerdy by Weird al Yankovic
Love is in the Air by John Paul Young
Werewolves of London by Warren Zevon
I'm Bad, I'm Nationwide & Tush by ZZtop

(100)

re: born

2012-02-13T10:01:00.111-05:00

Today I turn thirty-five.

I have never been older.

The way it's told, the night I was born 2001: A Space Odyssey, the operatic trippy science fiction flick by the incomparable Stanley Kubrick was broadcast on TV. Fault it however you will in spite of its tempered pacing and ennui inducing overture, but little can conflict with the edict that it stands as an influential classic. I've always supposed there must have been something in the water that night, since the drooling babe born in that Jersey hospital with my likeness would be drawn to film, music, and science fiction as well as dream of becoming a renegade filmmaker who dissects the eternal struggles of the human psyche. It never surprised me that I finished writing my first feature length screenplay in the year 2001.

We all come from somewhere.

And I don't mean the seemingly unsexy by-product of the end credit scroll of some roll in the hay. I simply mean that our physiological oak tree was once but an acorn. The ways and means the evolution comes about fascinates me. I think of the television series LOST, which my fiancée and I recently re-watched in its entirety, upon receiving it as a Christmas gift. Without the distraction of poor choice of company and interfering personal dramas that belied our respective first time viewings, so much more surfaced within this multi-textured program.

With much of the plot line being shrouded in mystery for many of the early seasons, there is a satisfying turn when some of the gnawing questions begin to find answers. I think life is like this. I think about turning thirty-five. There is far more power in that than there was at thirty or twenty-five or twenty-one or eighteen or any of the other key ages of yore. There's something truly exhilarating about seeing behind the curtain for longer stretches at a time, to catch a glimpse of how things work and what makes life worth living.

Deeper meaning rears its mischievous head right on schedule, every time. You just have to guide your vision a tad closer to see it. Show me a series of broken dishes, and I'll show you the excavation of the dashed dreams and cold conversation nibbled on at their side.

(99)

i exist

2012-02-11T08:14:00.003-05:00

I am fast approaching my thirty-fifth birthday.

The Friday morning preceding seemed like an apropos time to sit, waiting in the DMV for license renewal with a huge stack of seeming proof of my identity and whereabouts. It's intriguing to me that an expired identification card could call into question the aforementioned identity.

Does identity really have a shelf life? Does it truly require outside validation to prove who any of us really are?

Much of life extends from the challenge well-known by a fourth grader whose arm is stretched high toward oblivion, hand waving about, with answer fully pressed on tongue, but with acknowledgement consistently overlooked. We'd all like to be seen for who we are, what we know, where our capabilities and talents lie, but more often than not we instead become merely the projection of others - others' wants and others' insecurities packaged into full time underestimation of us.

Some might even work equivalently to how they're paid, giving even themselves the impression that all they're worth is the circumference of that leather bound ass print. Some people really do nurture this believe in themselves. They create walls of self-doubt and loathing around themselves like a Freudian twist on the Cask of the Amontillado. Some people waste away in the status quo.

I say thankless routine builds long term regret. So frequently we pop a squat on what could be by fearing what might be. One thing we all forget is how much of our existence transpires in our head. We dream big, we dream wild and we contemplate so much, disappointed when John Quiñones rounds the corner wondering why we hesitated to act or to do more than simply feel. So often our true actions disagree with our true potential. It's been noted that some prefer failure, because success would be too much work.

Birth we can certify and be assured about. It's living that comes under question.

What are the parameters of living to the hilt? I spent the best part of five hours, sitting in the DMV lobby watching people work, seeing others interact, grow weary, cranky and overheard one man talking about having to register himself as a career criminal. Judgment aside, how's that for taking life by the balls? Everyone's life is a topographical map. For some it's laid out full of flat lands and arid deserts, whereas others are lush and full of stories that inspire envy.

What would yours look like?

(98)

satisfaction: suggested

2012-02-03T17:22:00.001-05:00

An actor friend of mine recently caught the photography bug. I've known him for nearly seven years, and we've worked on innumerable projects together, so I realize his sense of craft and dedication. It is just that high expectation work ethic that we both share that explains why we continue to work on productions together. I can assure you many others simply couldn't keep up.

Sometimes I think people initially take up their interests due to boredom whether we're talking about interacting and canoodling with others or merely developing hobbies. My friend's photo explosion seemed to manifest overnight as endless streams of pictures of his girlfriend on his smartphone began showing up, everywhere. Recently he's been going on about wanting fancier camera equipment, as a means to hone his chops.

I know this feeling. I fully understand this longing to obtain and to compare my toys with others. However, one thing that I have learned along the way, as someone who grew up growing an interest in photography as a child behind a relatively useless 110 camera or the occasional Polaroid, when they were still in vogue, is that there will always be bigger and better tools. It's up to the artist to push the limits of their current situation and their present means to an end. And simply: create.

(97)

hazy shade . . .

2012-02-03T16:49:00.001-05:00

Vitality shows in not only the ability to persist but the ability to start over.
~ F. Scott Fitzgerald

Thanks to the brilliant early 1990s comedy of Groundhog Day, February second can now become synonymous with a day for self-analysis, reflection, and taking stock. Even though I had barely thought of it, as I slugged back my coffee and watched as Phil took a look for his shadow in clips on Good Morning America, the day had much in store.

By the time it all hit me, it really didn't surprise me in the least that this horoscope would land in my lap:

Since last August, you may have been dealing with the farewell process of Neptune leaving your sign. For some Aquarians, it was a battle for boundaries.

If you feel like spending the day in an ashram in a seated lotus pose, no one would blame you. This is the final day in your lifetime that spiritual Neptune will be in Aquarius. You’ve hosted the dreamy planet since 1998 and it’s allowed you to evolve into a person of great depth. Tomorrow, it moves on to Pisces and your money house, helping you find your soul purpose—and profit from it. Spend today in reflection: how have you become more enlightened over the past 13 years? Acknowledge yourself generously: it’s not like this has been the easiest journey, but you’ve made it!

(96)

safe keeping

2012-02-03T16:23:00.008-05:00

Never forget to step out of your comfort zone. But do make certain to have one.

(95)

gouge away.

2012-01-31T17:08:00.000-05:00

Life is a quarry, out of which we are to mold and chisel and complete a character.
~ Samuel Butler

(94)

watchful eye.

2012-01-31T16:56:00.000-05:00

(93)

quiet storm

2012-01-31T08:58:00.001-05:00

I have what is often referred to as a morbid curiosity. It is that twisted part of myself that inspired me to take the long way home on this past Saturday afternoon. A full figured plume of smoke in the sky beckoned me forward, like a kid intrigued by ant hill carnage. As the iPod shuffled through it's requisite music history lesson, I voyaged turn after turn until I found myself on a familiar roadway witnessing what appeared to be a controlled burn in the local prairie.

I snapped a few pictures and went on my way, determined to expound upon my thoughts on fire as a powerful metaphor to our everyday realities. Fire, is after all a lover of passion and the reason for most one night stands. I have sat beside many a roaring campfire, stoked by its glow and brought to meandering contemplation due to it's seeming understanding of my fiery soul. I think of the healing nature of fire, as it burns away what is no longer necessary, even when we're merely speaking of the aged gristle on an outdoor grill. A theoretical controlled burn can keep us moving forward in our journeys in a continued positive direction, if we let it, whether this might mean burning down those structures in our life that no longer have meaning or letting those hurts scarify us as lightweight reminders of where we've been.

But the story seems not to end there. From every effect we can garner a resulting chain of events that helped shape it. Somewhere between that afternoon and nightfall, weather conditions and possible human failure would ultimately allow for the horrific, so-dubbed apocalyptic accident on nearby interstate 75.

Everything has it's consequences. Most of these we can never predict.

(92)

evening out.

2012-01-30T23:58:00.000-05:00

It is with true love as it is with ghosts; everyone talks about it, but few have seen it.
~ François de la Rochefoucauld

(91)

be forewarned.

2012-01-30T23:50:00.001-05:00

(90)

up rooted

2012-01-30T23:44:00.011-05:00

Change happens at a different rate for us all. It is quick to create unexpected turbulence for those not fastened in properly. In times of great upheaval, don't forget to give your world the chance to level out, to catch up, and to fully acclimate to the new trajectory.

(89)

other half

2012-01-30T23:33:00.023-05:00

Absent their color, those elements we recognize instantly become far less notable. All things require balance, collusion, unity or a flip side. Without it, how can we distinguish borders, meaning and definition, or how we fulfill our part of the whole? This is the quandary of an infant, to whom everything is unfamiliar and equal parts frightening and fascinating. Eventually we grow, mature, and learn the words for what orbits and what interferes, and it becomes the newer, more complex emotions that remind us of our infancy.

(88)

outer bounds.

2012-01-30T23:27:00.007-05:00

Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.
~Paul Boese

(87)

pickup artist.

2012-01-30T23:25:00.004-05:00

(86)

captive audience

2012-01-30T23:16:00.013-05:00

We all expend so much energy clocking in miles and miles on our psychological pedometers, as we spin mindlessly inside the hamster wheels of our same ol' same ol', day-to-day lives that we're quick to miss it.

Don't.

(85)

dragon's breath

2012-01-30T23:13:00.018-05:00

One week ago, on January 23rd, the Chinese New Year ushered in the Year of the Dragon, traditionally considered the luckiest of the Zodiac. May that be the case.

(84)

immature themes

2012-01-23T11:57:00.000-05:00

Some create drama. Others see the comedy of it.

(83)

bye, gone.

2012-01-23T11:46:00.001-05:00

we are, we are mature children
- "Whisper to a Scream (birds fly)", Icicle Works (1983)

We all come into the world in roughly the same fashion. We arrive full of the gunk and gore of our first temporarily leased homes. Truth be told, at passing glance we all look about the same in those first wrinkly roasted peanut pics. Yet, somehow the human mind has the capacity to detect the differences between them, even to the point of selecting which is a match of the adults we see every day, whether it's by instinct or simply a truth hidden within the eyes. Though things change with time, certain characteristics that once existed have a tendency of maintaining in their way. To all that exists, a pentimento bleeds through.

(82)

fielding democracy

2012-01-18T00:15:00.002-05:00

(81)

our tribe

2012-01-17T23:46:00.040-05:00

Wanderlust has filled my belly since a young age, spewing forth on an occasion or two. I have always been a gypsy at heart, with a spirit for the road and of voyages to the undiscovered and the re-imagined. Mostly these roaming instincts have been kept at bay, held idle, gumming up the system inside. That is, until recently.

There is a concept I have returned to time and again, whether in my daily musings, in my fiction, or in this blog. It's the idea of home, of throwing down roots, or of finding a place to belong. I have found it crucial to recognize who you are at your core. This is a constant that never really changes, but instead can be viewed differently over time, but is for all intents and purposes your magnetic north.

(80)

candy rain

2012-01-17T18:56:00.000-05:00

Surprise yourself.

(79)

joy ride

2012-01-17T18:48:00.000-05:00

(78)

bridges. tunnels.

2012-01-17T17:36:00.000-05:00

Elementary arithmetic and reasoning help us see the distance between two points. Everything holds an agreeable space between itself and something else. These things can be measured in concrete terms. We can even readily comprehend that there are multiple ways to move between our said two points, varying the result. For most things we have the sun, maps, charts, and GPS at our side. With further consideration we can even determine our needs along the way, such as fuel, reading material, and consumables. When point A and point B are instead two humans, things get a lot messier.

(77)

after chrysalis.

2012-01-17T17:18:00.001-05:00

Don't you wanna go back there?
- why would I wanna do that?
So you could tell yourself to do things different. Save yourself a world of pain . . .
- no, I needed that pain — to get to where I am now.
[conversation between Locke and Sawyer - LOST, ep 5.4]

(76)

seeing red.

2012-01-17T17:02:00.000-05:00

(75)

cosy catastrophe

2012-01-17T16:41:00.002-05:00

Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.
~ Rainer Maria Rilke, (translated) 1903

(74)

shifting tides

2012-01-17T16:20:00.000-05:00

(73)

small wonder

2012-01-17T15:59:00.000-05:00

Working at Radio $hack, I am on the front lines of watching consumer electronics batter a whole bevy of things into oblivion. So many things the geeky chain once stocked have been forced to a couple rows in the back of the store, moved to the website where other niche needs go to die, or disappeared altogether. I hear about it everyday, from my heavily low-income and elderly clientele.

I am forced to sell the future and trade-in the past as everything goes wireless and distractingly fast. I often tire of being on the cutting edge in this way. I like old, dusty things with a glow of patina and distinctive charm. Deep edged inconvenience has done the world fine for eons. I wonder when enough is enough. I imagine a time when people have just plenty of newfangled devices and enough attention deficiencies that genuine human interaction is a thing of the past. Science fiction has been threatening it for years, and eventually it will be right.

(72)

home fires.

2012-01-17T15:36:00.000-05:00

“Just as a fire is covered by smoke and a mirror is obscured by dust, just as the embryo rests deep within the womb, wisdom is hidden by selfish desire.”
~ Bhagavad Gita

(71)

apples. oranges.

2012-01-15T10:14:00.001-05:00

Today is the last day to submit a play for the 2012-2013 season at the local theatre I have contributed to for the last six years. The selection committee in all their glory will be reading plays and over-involved submission questionnaires between now and March to come up with next year's playlist. My name will not be among them.

I contemplated this at length, and realize that the behind the scenes horror that raped the last play into memorable obsolescence has left me with far higher expectations for those I wish to depend on while trying to undertake the challenging works for which I have become known.

Although I still have a list of plays that I would like to present in the dark, intimacy of a stage like that, whether they be squirm-inducing thinkers or my twist on more conventional titles, I don't think it's worth it when confronted with large children with their petty jealousies, sturdy egos, and narrow minds like the brood running the place these days.

(70)

little wisdom

2012-01-15T09:26:00.031-05:00

This has been traveling around the internet lately:

Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
Follow the three R’s: Respect for self, Respect for others and Responsibility for all your actions.
Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
Don’t let a little dispute injure a great relationship.
When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
Spend some time alone every day.
Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.
Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll be able to enjoy it a second time.
A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past.
Share your knowledge. It is a way to achieve immortality.
Be gentle with the earth.
Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before.
Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.
If you want to be happy, practice compassion.

- The Dalai Lama

According to the post I saw, it's intended to be twenty ways to take on good Karma, however in my mind the Karma aspect pales to the fact that these are simply good lessons for life, and a veritable checklist.

(69)

wolf moon

2012-01-09T12:23:00.000-05:00

"If you shoot for the stars and hit the moon, it's OK. But you've got to shoot for something. A lot of people don't even shoot."
~ Confucius

(68)

explain yourself...

2012-01-09T12:07:00.000-05:00

(67)

the reimagining

2012-01-09T10:22:00.000-05:00

So much energy circulates around us and within our grasp. We imbed this in all that our respective worlds encompass. This is why things take on such power and meaning. Some of these lay heavier with our weighty baggage. Our memory recalls more than simple circumstance. It has the ability to fully feel these moments, in spite even of truth. It's imperative to move forward and let things come in and out of our lives. A wall hanging that holds within its frame little more than discouraging memories can find new life as a lucky find for someone else at a thrift store or leaning against the side of a dumpster. It's precisely how we come upon the phrase likening one's trash with one's treasure.

(66)

secret garden.

2012-01-09T10:06:00.000-05:00

(65)

epiphany. listen.

2012-01-06T14:22:00.008-05:00

(64)

monocle view

2012-01-06T12:16:00.004-05:00

if you hurt what's mine
I'll sure as hell retaliate
~ "Safe from Harm", Massive Attack

The human brain is one mighty powerful chicken flavored lump. We have the great capacity to retain and recall, stretching our minds around a seemingly limitless multitude of inputs. Just consider how many faces we can recognize. We can discern them in their youth before we knew them or recognize them behind the old age make-up or under that new hairstyle. We know many actors and performers from nearly all conceivable angles broad enough to identify them in a Picasso.

Yet sometimes we catch a glimpse of ourselves in a photograph and wonder if that's really how the world sees us. The view we get from our own reflection in those portal opening ninety degree dressing room mirrors or in that brief spinach in the teeth check in that little compact can never fully do justice. We can never fully see what others see. And we can never fully comprehend the motivations of others, since we're each constantly getting a grasp on ourselves.

I think again of the war of silence waged between my sister and my parents. My sister is loathe to the fact that I continue to forge a relationship with my parents and they leave open the occasional silence in our conversations to allow for me to interject a bit or two about her. But I don't. The whole matter creates an uncomfortable underlying awkwardness. They are both right to protect their interests and their perspectives, but unfortunately like such an unfortunate common theme of late, loyalties become split and questioned, or used as a commodity.

(63)

available light

2012-01-06T11:41:00.000-05:00

Three things lead people to change
- they hurt sufficiently
- a slow type of despair called ennui, or boredom
- the sudden discovery that they can
(Thomas Harris, M.D.)

(62)

time passages

2012-01-06T10:25:00.000-05:00

Seen as time lapse photography, life is filled with constant change and alteration. A ball ceremoniously drops and suddenly we are faced with another year. This new one takes the place of the last. Things do become replaced. A gap takes hold where a tooth once sat, silence hangs where conversation once existed, love falls where once only disappointment could, desire goes where once complacence laid, passages of text roll across where an empty page once stared back, knowledge is discovered where there was once only wonder, humility takes the place that once held disdain, and new life sprouts where once there were only seeds.

(61)

oh, clarity!

2012-01-04T08:04:00.000-05:00

When life reintroduces characters who have been written out of the script, it's not unreasonable to take note.

(60)

fetishize this

2012-01-04T07:53:00.000-05:00

(59)

auld lang.

2012-01-01T10:11:00.000-05:00

To everything there is a season. One year ends and another begins. It's as simple as that. The currents of life are in constant ebb and flow. The only way I have found to achieve a sense of balance is with equal parts pleasure and equal parts pain. It's how our proverbial buoy stays afloat, so to speak.

(58)

with scars.

2011-12-31T14:22:00.000-05:00

"There's a fine line between denial and faith. It's much better on my side."
~ Rose Nadler, LOST ep. 1.12

(57)

tabula rasa

2011-12-31T00:34:00.000-05:00

“An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.”
~ Bill Vaughn

Today is New Year's Eve. It's the last official day of the year and the sixth day in that week that sits low in the shadow of the all important Christmas Day. By the twenty-fifth of December it always feels as if the year might as well just wrap it up.

We humans do love to create our little pockets of time. We demarcate our daily lives into little bite size pieces, we accept our television programming at regulation lengths, and we take special note of changes that affect us in our check writing or at tax time. Within the realm of all of the seasonal celebrations, we also gain the opportunity to reflect. Some seek solace in their financial gains while others look inward, perhaps finding themselves more satisfied with that figure in the mirror than they were 365 days earlier.

(56)

in gratitude

2011-12-31T00:03:00.000-05:00

Most things given or received won't fit into a box.

(55)

making impressions

2011-12-30T23:55:00.000-05:00

(54)

joyeux noel

2011-12-25T00:51:00.000-05:00

“The greatest gift is a portion of thyself.”
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

(53)

exhibit A

2011-12-25T00:44:00.000-05:00

The practice of having standards is often underrated.

(52)

unfettered joy

2011-12-24T10:21:00.000-05:00

Children play with wild abandon, not questioning consequences, fearing the worst or wondering what others might think. Adults get stuck on the outside, jaded and circulating around them with too much information, too much knowledge, and too much of a superiority complex. They often want to project their misery upon the children, sap their pleasure and happiness, and simply know better. Adults whose growth is harshly stunted tend to do this as well, to their relatives, to their friends and certainly to their enemies by proxy. I think we can all learn a lot from children.

(51)

mood lighting

2011-12-23T08:05:00.000-05:00

Having seen friends, acquaintances, and those in the making come and go on the turn of style over the years, I realize that knowing someone for eighteen years is significant. It is the stretch of time that separates the Beatles arrival to the United States and the launch of MTV. It's what divides John Lennon's assassination from the likes of Spice World. We're talking about birth to high school graduation.

And we're talking about the years since I met a close friend and this past weekend when I attended her first year anniversary party with her wife, witnessing all of the love, passion, and strength of a wonderful soul. You never can tell with these things. The people most important to our lives don't always stick out. They hold the torch of brief impact during a few conversations or when we develop teenage feelings for them or when they weave in and out of every year to follow. Fate sometimes holds the reins. Often we just need to keep waking up everyday, going about the current day business at hand without the full realization of the glue that holds together our life. It's connections like this.

(50)

a diminuendo

2011-12-21T08:01:00.000-05:00

(49)

keep out

2011-12-21T07:59:00.001-05:00

(48)

good luck

2011-12-21T07:58:00.000-05:00

The most recent play I directed closed two months and twelve days ago. The production was an intense, trying experience fraught with battles of egos, wits, and sensibilities. I have directed three plays now, and I learned a boatload professionally, artistically, and personally from each piece.

The theatre has already been making the call for show submissions for its 2012-2013 season. I have been contacted directly by folks hoping I'll submit a show, yet I still sense the flavor of that bad taste left from this last show. This moment feels like the sheer definition of dilemma.

I have until January 15th to sort out my decision.

(47)

corporate entity.

2011-12-21T07:34:00.000-05:00

We all represent something bigger than ourselves. We each have beliefs, ideals, religions, communities, families, and preferences. We don't exactly choose any of them, but are instead drawn in their direction, whether by circumstance, happenstance, or positive mental trigger.

Within my daily routine, I represent a huge corporation that is so widespread that 95% of the upper forty-eight are within five miles of one. It's all a numbers game. Everything about every interaction is calculated and arbitrarily compared to the year prior, or the day prior, or the hour prior, or another store or region. Their ideal representative would be a consistent robot with streaming pop-up ads.

(46)

tree hugger.

2011-12-21T00:30:00.001-05:00

(45)

southern lights

2011-12-21T00:26:00.001-05:00

welcome Christmas
fah who for-aze
dah who dor-aze

(44)

maple staple

2011-12-20T23:50:00.006-05:00

The year of our rabbit, 2011, has but ten days to go. From one perspective this year has seen the end of certain eras, while being translated as transitional via another, whereas a third would see the dawning of the proverbial new day. Depending on how close your gaze is, and by what clarity, this could be the definition of most years. I don't intend to have a generic opening, but there it sits, suggesting the most mundane of personal blurbs.

There was once a bar. Let's call it a pub, or perhaps an Irish pub for good measure. It served mean, strong drinks, had more than adequate seating for the conversational, and the best karaoke in town. I spent more than my share of time there, drinking, carousing, singing, and moving about in the cold of my own shadow. My tales that surrounded that place were lurid at best and depressing at worst and they all became buried under the certainty of its closure earlier this year. It wasn't alone.

One plays ode to their history time and again. We continue down roads until they dead end, wind back on themselves, or become uninteresting. The stories we weave with others in our reach follow a similar path. Some people, be they co-workers, friends, family, or whomever else, join us for such a minute part of our journey. We can't question this, or fight against it. Some people are there as mere emissaries to introduce us to our futures, or remind us briefly of our past, or merely to get us to the train on time.

Our life story is in a constant process of trimming the fat, siphoning out what matters over time.

(43)

ghostly machinations

2011-12-20T23:49:00.003-05:00

(42)

ice storm

2011-12-12T20:09:00.000-05:00

This past weekend, I spent a glorious Saturday at a high school on the north Florida coast judging the regional Thespian competition. I have been doing the same for the last three years. This was my favorite session, containing the opportunity to watch and critique nine straight hours of a total of sixty-one scenes having a cast of two.

After a 5AM caffeine-induced musically eclectic back roads trek, I arrived at the heavily populated and intensely hormonal grade school and made my way to the sign-in area. Immediately I felt the tailored shoulder of an old friend, as he leaned in to me with a good ol' dude hug. This particular guy has been sadly distancing himself from me since the predictable aftershocks of my divorce. We have a bevy of under-resolved issues that might not be worth pursuing. On his coattails was another long gone close friend whose level of disrespect over time still reeks in the occasional air we share. He and I had a total of seven words.

The day also gave me the chance to become completely enthralled by two teenagers doing great justice to a five minute scene from Angels in America, in what my panel deemed the best piece of the day.

(41)

cropped life

2011-12-12T18:15:00.041-05:00

The old psychological query ponders whether we first see the forest or the trees. I have often felt myself capable of doing both in equal measure, craving the intimacy of the details but enjoying the manner in which all of the distinctive pieces fit into the whole. Art can easily be cropped life, as information is isolated to draw the eye and trick the mind into focusing on specifics.

(40)

gimme shelter

2011-12-12T18:10:00.007-05:00

Find your safe harbor.

(39)

rear window

2011-12-12T18:07:00.003-05:00

(38)

family relations

2011-12-12T16:48:00.041-05:00

The holiday season seemingly returned as Black Friday warmed its shadow across casseroles built around leftovers and all things commercial. Somehow it is now suddenly December the 12th, or a mere thirteen days until Christmas. Out of the haze came the displays, the music, and the financial demands, and like the ethereal village of Brigadoon, it too will pass. This time of year only gives us a small fragment of time to enjoy its splendor, as it hustles on by our collective windows. We must find our way to harness its genuine gifts, opportunities, and cause for celebration.

(37)

lonely avenue

2011-12-11T23:42:00.020-05:00

A good family friend once told a story about a road trip she had with her mother when she was a child. Along the way they took enough wrong turns to become lost. When she became frantic and upset about the situation her mom pulled off to the side of the road to talk with her, reassuring that they weren't lost after all since they were right there.

I feel we could all benefit from that perspective.

(36)

earthbound mystic

2011-12-11T23:17:00.007-05:00

Can't keep my mind
From the circling skies
Tongue tied and twisted
Just an earthbound misfit, I
-"Learning to Fly", Pink Floyd

(35)

hidden treasure

2011-12-11T23:13:00.014-05:00

The trouble with living life by guided tour is that there are never surprises.

(34)

snap peas

2011-12-11T23:07:00.001-05:00

“Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.”
~Dr. Suess

(33)

altered ego

2011-12-08T23:59:00.000-05:00

There is astounding power in reflection.

(32)

fragile frame

2011-12-08T23:49:00.018-05:00

The Back to the Future films evoked a sense of home, a sense of wonder, a sense of dread, and so many other things by its simple framing of a car-lined street burrowed under a canopy of trees. Our lives offer us innumerable places with similar emotional arcs, whether they are the street we grew up on that no longer extends to oblivion, or the old workplace that has made way for a condo village, the neighborhood you've lost visitation rights to, or merely the crossroads in your daily commute.

(31)

super 8.

2011-12-08T23:09:00.104-05:00

move·ment (n.)
an instance of moving; a change in place or position
the suggestion or illusion of motion in a painting, sculpture, or design
the progression of events in the development of a plot
a self-contained section of an extended composition
a mechanism, such as the works of a watch, that produces or transmits motion

Movement.

The word flows through your lips with such power, only to be unceremoniously scrubbed at launch time. Its lifespan appropriately works in similar starts and stops. It is a concept that comes to my mind quite often. My soul was born at the wild intersection between artist, gypsy, drifter, dreamer, and being relatively undefined.

I remember a hastily assembled piece of prose I wrote for my sixth grade English class about my life at thirty. It was etched in the penciled shorthand chicken scratch I used to convey my ideas at the time. It involved a world far from the one I was presently living in, due changes in time, location, status, and level of hope. The actual details don't stand out this far down the road, but it brings to mind a level of longing I have always had. Not coincidentally this was the time that my passion for writing, filmmaking, music, and sex were building up momentum. My tastes were more fully finding foundations, and my sensory development was enhancing.

June 10th of this year, J.J. Abrams new film Super 8 found its way to theaters. My girlfriend and I dropped in on it during opening weekend. Wrapped in a veil of Spielberg worship and with throwaway thrill ride sequences that recalled Cloverfield was the story of innocent burgeoning filmmakers trying their hand at the craft in the brilliant beige of 1979. It was unexpectedly a great work of cinematic entertainment and one that touched me deeply.

Dreams grow old with us. They evolve, find better music tastes, have children, lose aspects of themselves, but never fully disappear. Unless we do.

(30)

all personnel

2011-12-08T17:54:00.002-05:00

RIP Harry Morgan (1915-2011)

Some actors live and breath life into characters so eloquently. For me Harry Morgan was Colonel Sherman T. Potter, the dignified, stalwart commander of the 4077th on those later seasons of M*A*S*H, and in digesting that show at such a formative age he became such a key figure in my personal development. I am truly saddened by his passing.

(*)

to simplicity

2011-12-08T17:07:00.039-05:00

Recently I discovered the second season of the Bravo reality show, Work of Art: The Next Great Artist which follows a group of artists as they create art brought on by a variety of jumping off points and with vague parameters. On a recent episode, each of the artists attempted to create pop art (Andy Warhol's awkward adopted baby) for the modern age. As I have been traveling through my spontaneous blog picture-taking voyage, I have been thinking a lot about a quote by Warhol about why he originally painted the Campbell's Soup cans. Basically he said it was because it was what he had for lunch. Who says one needs to plod off halfway around the world to find inspiration?

(29)

born free

2011-12-08T16:58:00.001-05:00

Artistic endeavor has been on my mind lately. I have innumerable artistically driven friends, who pursue it professionally, spiritually, or simply on the side. I consider deeply my youth born passions toward creative expression of all sorts as a gift first and a curse only in the occasional retrospect. If there's one truth that continually surfaces, it's the edict to know your limitations, but to always do your craft in spite of them.

(28)

rough edges

2011-12-08T16:44:00.029-05:00

We know them by rote. We can see them coming from a fathom away. Their absence often becomes the litmus test that sets the standard between friends and acquaintances. They are other people's perceptions of us. I have been quiet or I have been brooding. I have been anti-social and I have been weird. And I have been referred to as rough around the edges.

Though none of these get at the heart of the matter and have been based off past knee-jerk reactions, I have found acceptance of the latter. I need not wear any tag others may don upon me, but I am quite comfortable being an odd-shaped peg ill-equipped to fitting into that geometrically accurate hole most of the world eases themselves into.

(27)

parallel universe

2011-12-06T20:42:00.001-05:00

NASA discovered an eerily Earth-like planet in another solar system this week. Why am I not surprised?

(26)

snap shot

2011-12-06T20:31:00.039-05:00

Life can be difficult to alter or manipulate, especially given its great ability to become strained by monotony. It doesn't have to be, so find new glory in the familiar moments and discover hidden treasures off the beaten path.

(25)

perpetual motion

2011-12-06T20:29:00.010-05:00

You can ponder perpetual motion
Fix your mind on a crystal day
Always time for a good conversation
There's an ear for what you say.
~Creedence Clearwater Revival,
"Up Around the Bend"

(24)

'73 spirit

2011-11-28T00:00:00.005-05:00

Happy Birthday, lover.

(23)

this corrosion

2011-11-27T22:59:00.000-05:00

Places don't change. We do.

(22)

game day

2011-11-27T22:57:00.001-05:00

I often must remind myself that art doesn't appeal to everyone.

(21)

open window

2011-11-27T22:47:00.001-05:00

(20)

inside out

2011-11-27T22:44:00.001-05:00

Everything is beautiful
in its own way.
-Ray Stevens

(19)

techno fever

2011-11-27T22:32:00.000-05:00

The stranglehold technological has over society often drives me crazy. Even though I sell consumer electronics and know far too many seemingly useless tidbits about the ways and means of it all, I care very little about shiny toys and the advances in cellphones and their compatriots. The Florence & the Machine concert my girlfriend and I saw during this past summer was visited by a pseudo-fascist uprising of the smartphone brigade who simultaneously felt the need to video the proceedings for seeming prosperity. The cold glow from the audience resembled a roomful of old school Cylons preparing to overtake the humans en masse.

(18)

black friday.

2011-11-26T08:14:00.000-05:00

4:47 AM.

(17)

give thanks

2011-11-26T08:12:00.000-05:00

A multitude of simple pleasures create bliss.

(16)

function junction

2011-11-26T08:04:00.000-05:00

The optimist already sees the scar over the wound; the pessimist still sees the wound underneath the scar.
- Ernst Schröder

(15)

in communicado

2011-11-26T07:58:00.000-05:00

(14)

no comment

2011-11-22T22:32:00.003-05:00

(13)

mojo rising

2011-11-22T22:23:00.001-05:00

Don't neglect to consider the vantage point of someone else.

(12)

filthy beast

2011-11-22T22:22:00.004-05:00

For four years, I had long Jesus locks. There were lengths of time when they'd fall halfway down my back, and there were strands of time that I wore it well, and other spurts that I bound it into a ponytail if only to get it the hell out of my way without any thought of appearance.

During the production of my first play, I demanded a beard of a cast member who played a slimy doctor. In what was initially a sign of solidarity with him, I too began to grow out a beard. I had slacked on shaving again and again over time, and soon realized why. It suits me and is a part of who I am that had been lurking underneath for a very long time.

(11)

ventura highway

2011-11-22T22:20:00.000-05:00

(10)

say cheese

2011-11-22T22:19:00.002-05:00

Smile though your heart is breaking
Smile even though it's aching
When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through for you.
- Nat King Cole (1954)

(9)

rain, shine.

2011-11-22T22:18:00.002-05:00

Everyone has routine. It's imperative to look forward to some of it.

(8)

unbreakable cycle

2011-11-20T16:08:00.005-05:00

Know your place.

(7)

look closer.

2011-11-20T16:00:00.023-05:00

I was born an observer. It creates varied perspective and enhances visual memory. Sometimes it suggests regret or disconnection from the action and at other times it offers the chance to miss out on inconsequential dramas.

(6)

maximum exposure

2011-11-20T15:50:00.013-05:00

It is said that a picture can express a thousand words. However, our vocabulary will always be limited by the ones we see.

(5)

waste not

2011-11-20T15:47:00.003-05:00

(4)

walk about

2011-11-20T13:37:00.019-05:00

Those must be comfortable shoes. I bet you could walk all day in shoes like those and not feel a thing.
- My feet hurt.
My momma always said you can tell a lot about a person by their shoes - where they go, where they've been . . . .
-Forrest Gump

(3)